Not Dead, Just Dead Tired

Hey all. I’m not dead or in any other major trouble, have just been really really busy lately. The first Friday post I missed about 2 weeks ago was on my last day at a job I hated. The following Tuesday was spent dealing with the movers, and that Friday still spent getting settled in and getting school stuff situated. This past Tuesday, I got off of class only to find the power in my apartment had been turned off, the previous roommate who had been evicted had the power solely in his name and had never made any payments while he was here. So my new roommate and I had to go and get that dealt with and get it in my name (with her attached). And the rest of this week has been hectic with the start of school as well.

On a more trans related note, I’ve begun living full time as best I can, but there are hiccups. Since I’m a more casual kind of girl, preferring jeans to skirts (though I have been told that I have great legs and should show them off), I still get a lot of staring and sometimes get called a male (the local mechanics are especially bad about this). Because of this kind of response from others, it still often baffles me when someone actually refers to me as female, and if there’s another girl around (like my roommate), I generally think they’re talking to her at first. This is not uncommon among trans folk when they first start presenting as their true selves, and may continue until they reach a point where they get referred to as their true gender more often than not. We sometimes struggle to see ourselves as others do, either still seeing the old physical stuff (I have a hard time seeing the physical changes in me that others see), or in our personalities, as we often have low self-esteem early on. Many of us overcome that and gain great self-esteems, but many others don’t.

Next time, I promise to be on time and to have a more substantial post that’s applicable. But do any of you have any stories of confusion when someone addressed you as the real you?

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